is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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