how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
