I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
not ubering you a puppy
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
