Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
