I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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