We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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