"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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