people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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