what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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