# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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