id be glad to
there's paper in my vomit.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
