I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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