'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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