So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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