Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Randomize
