That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it's like iHOP with fire
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You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Someone signed my nipple.
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