we have officially lost it.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
