it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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