Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
