I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize