i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
