he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
home. puking in laundry basket.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
