therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
