just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
