She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
