Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
