i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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