Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
