I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
