My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
