great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
