No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
