I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Pants are for mortals
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My feet surprised me
Randomize
