i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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