Cold hands, warm shart.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
