... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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