did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
