fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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