They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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