I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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