I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
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How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
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Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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