We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
