We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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