Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
