Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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