Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize