my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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