we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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