you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
