Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
