OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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