This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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