I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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