It's like God shit irony all over that family
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize