I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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