i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
