Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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