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• (408): View more from California

  Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I don't wanna die...

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?

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• (904): View more from Florida

  the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless

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• (415): View more from California

  also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Chivalry really is dead.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?

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