Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize