after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
