I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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