He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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