it was like eating out sand paper
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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