Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
babies were throwing up all over the place
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
